Between the sheets

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BD2EWN jealousy

How much is too much for your current lover to know about your past sex-life. I’m sure thoughts and comments have been shared, but when does it become borderline weird, and interrupt the flow of your existing relationship? I believe in being open and honest in all aspects of life including past and present, but sometimes the intimate details of past lovers can be bi-passed. I have been in a relationship with the same person, now my husbands for over 15 years now, and I’m pretty sure we know about as much as we need to know about each other’s past lovers. How many we’ve been with, what we liked and didn’t like. How we grown and learned from mistakes we’ve made in the past. That is all healthy and a dose of honesty every relationship needs, but talking about past relationships are somewhat tricky We may be open and honest, but what we don’t need are details, or to paint pictures to your current partner. What starts off as a fun round of twenty questions can turn into an icy chill in no time if you aren’t careful. Finding out more about past relationships is never a good thing, but like all inquisitive fools, we go looking for dirt in our lover’s past. When we do find things out, it lingers and always pops up in future arguments, even long after the discovery. Talking about exes and past lovers may feel like you are opening up and being honest, while some of it may come back to haunt you again though your present lover. If your new lover has popped the past relationships question to you, and you find no way of avoiding it with a smile or a wink, perhaps you should learn how to talk about past relationships and make sure you don’t find yourself in sticky ground by giving the wrong answers.

The next time you come face to face with a question about your past relationships and the number of notches on your bed, keep these pointers in mind. It’ll help you answer well and your partner will hear exactly what they want to her, rather, what they should hear. Everyone has a past, some things you may not be proud of, some things you will be ok with sharing, and other things that will never be repeated. Your ex may have the same type of skeletons, which would make sharing ok, but if you go out with someone who really doesn’t have a sexual past as exciting or brag worthy as yours, you really have to think twice about telling all your secrets. You’re with this special person today because of the coincidences and relationships you’ve experienced before. And you really don’t have to feel bad about your extensive list of past lovers once you’ve settled down with someone else, but you do have to be careful about what you say and share to your new lover. Remember, you can still tell the truth to your new lover without going into explicit details. When you start going out with someone seriously, one of the first questions you may face after reaching a certain level of closure may be about your old flames. Everyone wants to know how frisky their mate has been in the past, and they want to know as much of their partner’s past as they possibly can. But what you reveal can change your relationship, always remember that.

We’ve all had one night stands, we may have experimented with the same sex, or done things we aren’t proud of. This is all fine, but you may want to gauge how your partner will feel about it if you tell them some of your deep dark secrets. Once the cat is out of the bag, it cannot be put back in. When it comes to talking about the intimate details, skip the parts where you went sowing your wild oats or let anything that walks enter your doorway. But I do suggest bringing up the topic up someday, when you’re in a somewhat serious relationship and have built enough trust for your partner to overlook some of your past wild ways. It may become part of why they love you most.

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