20 Percent

The Bender

Benders. They’re loads of fun when you’re in the process of alcohol overindulgence….but the post affects could cost you a lot of money, severe headaches, loss of appetite and sanity. Not to mention alcohol ridden 24 sweat beads and the leafy shakes. Friday night. It’s dead….and I’m looking at some barren tip buckets. That’s fucking …

The Bender Read More »

Thanks for Oversharing

A solitary drinker sits at the end of the bar, and with a nod and a grunt, signals for his third beer. All around him, people are talking, playing pool, singing to the jukebox, making out. There’s nothing on TV, and he’s not really watching it anyway. What’s this guy doing here? Humans are fundamentally …

Thanks for Oversharing Read More »

When in Rome

When in Rome “Her Smile, I’m sure, burnt Rome to the ground” Russell Crowe walks through the rusted, squeaking doors into the punishing sunlight. Under the weight of thousands of hard, staring faces, he barrels headfirst into an ironclad group of adversaries intent on gutting him, and in less than fifteen seconds, graphically defeats them …

When in Rome Read More »

Pride and Nemesis

Pride and nemesis A cook, a Slut, and an egomaniac walk into a bar….. Do you ever wonder why Yelpers are so angry all the time? Why a bad dining experience can ruin your day worse than waiting in line at the DMV, or having a root canal? Have you ever seen (or been) that …

Pride and Nemesis Read More »

Back to my Future

Back to My Future A Bartender’s prospects I’m not young anymore. I’m not dead either, but let’s just say that if I were a chicken, I’d be headed to the stew pot sooner rather than later. As far as stereotypical lifetime achievements are concerned, I’d say I’m hitting all of the marks: I’m in a …

Back to my Future Read More »

Why I don’t Steal

stly, my life is a rollercoaster of compulsory self-deprivation punctuated by short periods of unreasonable overindulgence. As a career bartender, I make a good living practicing a trade that requires lots of skill, but no formal education. I have no debt, and I pay my rent in cash. However, thereality of working for tips means that any minor miscalculation leaves me eating microwave ramen for days at a …

Why I don’t Steal Read More »